Do you often find yourself stuck in dull conversations or struggling to think of something to say when the conversation starts?
If yes, you can change most conversations if you know the types of questions to ask, the topics that can be discussed, and with anyone.
You need to learn how to start an enjoyable and engaging conversation, and how to avoid being boring by keeping the conversation flowing if it starts to dry up.
Dialogue is a means of communication and exchange of ideas, emotions, and opinions among people (Pexels)
Enjoyment is Key to Successful Conversations
Social researcher and consultant Dr. Fadia Ibrahim says: Dialogue is a way to communicate, transfer ideas, emotions, and exchange opinions among people, and there are many types of dialogues: formal and informal, closed and open dialogues, individual and group dialogues, and many other types we practice every day.
In her conversation with "Al Jazeera Net," she elaborates on how our success in these dialogues and their well management is an indication that we possess high emotional and social intelligence, enabling us to achieve many benefits at work, within the family, and among friends.
Ibrahim believes that dialogue requires several skills. If we do not possess them, we must train and develop them. Also, enjoyment is fundamental to making dialogues successful and for achieving mental, intellectual, and even emotional benefits since enjoyable and interesting dialogues lead us to wonderful ideas, achieving the objectives of the dialogue with ease and pleasure, and ending them feeling content and respectful towards other participants.
Social consultant Dr. Fadia Ibrahim: Good listening to the other party and not giving advice is essential (Al Jazeera)
Managing Engaging Dialogues
Ibrahim explains that success in managing these dialogues and achieving an element of excitement and enjoyment depends on several factors, including:
- Self-confidence and avoiding pretense.
- The value of the ideas and topics presented and their importance.
- Choosing appropriate words.
- Listening to the other party and showing interest.
- Using eye contact and body language.
- Comfort in conversation and avoiding tension.
- Changing and varying voice tone to avoid monotony.
- Good listening to the other party and avoiding giving unsolicited advice.
- Clarity in speaking and staying away from obscure and complicated or unclear ideas.
Enjoyment is a fundamental element for successful dialogues and achieving mental, intellectual, and even emotional benefits (Pexels)
Positive and Optimistic Dialogues
Fadia Ibrahim highlights the need for dialogues to be objective, realistic, and simple, as this lends them credibility and makes them more engaging to the other party. Additionally, dialogues should be positive and optimistic, as those with negativity and pessimism tend to be heavy and undesirable.
She adds that dialogues should involve some parity, for example in age, knowledge, and understanding, so that ideas are aligned, and the dialogue can be conducted smoothly, flexibly, with acceptance, and not dominated by one party.
Respecting the values and beliefs of others, such as ethics and religion, as well as maintaining balance and calmness, is crucial. It is important to be friendly; as showing hostility in dialogues can lead to personal losses and cause disputes or disagreements between parties.
Life skills coach Maha Benouira: Dialogues based on discussing life matters expand a person's horizons and thinking (Al Jazeera)
Being Mindful of Topic Selection
Life skills coach Maha Benouira says that when sitting with friends or a family member, it is important to be mindful of how we communicate with others and ensure the dialogue is positive, meaning that it should be free of criticism, personal questions, or interference in the person's social, psychological, professional, or family life choices.
Dialogues that discuss life matters, such as issues prevailing in society, widen a person's horizons and thinking, impacting their life, values, and principles.
Choosing an interesting topic makes the other person speak while enjoying a pleasant and enjoyable time in company. Thus, our relationships should be built on enjoyable dialogues based on respecting each other's opinions and personal expression spaces, and accepting one another whole-heartedly.
To make dialogue interesting, Benouira emphasizes in her conversation with "Al Jazeera Net," knowing the personality of the person you're speaking with and the topics you should discuss is essential. For example, ladies often like to talk about the latest fashion trends, colors, fabrics, styles, makeup, and haircuts, while men prefer discussing adventures, travel, football, or other topics that grab their interest. These interests may also vary according to the person's age and social upbringing.
Dialogues should be objective, realistic, and simple (Pexels)
Tips for Interesting Conversations
To have better conversations, you need to learn many skills, such as: asking good questions, looking for common interests, active listening, sharing some things about yourself, and telling attention-grabbing stories, as published by the "Social Self" site.
Here are some general tips that will help you have interesting conversations with anyone:
- Use the word 'you': A basic rule is to ask questions containing the word "you," which includes making conversations more interesting by moving from small talk to more stimulating topics.
- Share something personal: One of the common conversation tips is to allow the other person to do most of the talking, but it's not true that people only want to speak about themselves. People also want to know who they're talking to, and when we share personal things with each other, we connect more quickly.
- Focus your attention on the conversation: If you get stuck in your head and freeze when it's your turn to speak, it might be helpful to consciously focus your attention on what the other person is saying.
- Ask open-ended questions: Questions with closed-end answers can be responded to with a "yes" or "no," but open-ended questions call for longer answers, making them a useful tool for sustaining an interesting conversation.
