Foreign Policy magazine has reported on the plight of widows in Gaza, recounting harrowing stories of the death of husbands and sons, and the struggles faced by widows in providing for their children and persevering amidst grief and shocks.
In one of the stories, reporter Neha Wadekar narrates that as bombs fell on Gaza, Mariam Abu Akar narrowly escaped death twice. However, her loved ones were not as fortunate. Her 17-year-old daughter, Sarah, was killed when a bomb struck their two-story house on October 17th, tearing the teenager's body in half.
Following Sarah’s death, Mariam, 40, relied on her husband Salama for support. In an interview at her in-law’s home in Khan Younis, Mariam tearfully shared, "He helped me bear the loss of my daughter. He told me that everything would get better and that our daughter went to heaven".
Suddenly, Mariam Became a Widow
Just seven weeks later, Salama was killed alongside a neighbor when a bomb hit nearby. In an instant, Mariam became a widow, the sole caretaker for their remaining four children.
Mariam is not alone. Thousands of women in Gaza have become widows due to war or have been left responsible for their families, a plight relief experts fear is being overlooked in the humanitarian response.
With tears streaming down her pale cheeks, Mariam said, "I don’t know how to face his absence and raise the children without him. Sometimes, when the children upset me, I tell them, 'I’ll call your father.' Then I remember he’s not here".
United Nations Women data in Arab states reveals that more than 2780 women in Gaza have become widows. Numerous humanitarian organizations state that with at least 85% of the 2.3 million people in the enclave being displaced, and with scarcity of food, fuel, medicine, and water, these newly women-led families are struggling to adapt.
The Widows Are Unable to Provide for Themselves and Their Families
The writer remarks that these women are now unable to provide for themselves and their families and lack access to organizations that could assist them.
Lucy Talgieh, the head of the Women's Program at the Palestinian Conflict Resolution Center based in Bethlehem, explained, "The bulk of the burden falls on women. They need to be strong – to survive, help their children, and start a new life, possibly with a wounded husband who became disabled, or perhaps as a widow with four or five children to tend to."
Since marrying at twenty, Mariam was a homemaker financially dependent on her late husband, who used to earn around $9 a day selling clothes in the market.
Mariam continues, "I used to rely on him to raise my children. He was our sole provider. I’m not used to carrying the responsibility alone. And I don’t know how I will make my way with my children."
Grief and Shock Intensify
Relief workers say for widows in Gaza, the grief and shock of war are compounded by the challenge of suddenly becoming the sole provider for their families.
CARE International reports that some mothers eat just once a day as they prioritize their children’s health amidst World Food Programme warnings of rising instances of dehydration and malnourishment.
Nour Beddoun, a regional advisor on emergency protection issues, said, "There is an increasing sense of fear, anxiety, grief, and anger, which in emergencies, is linked to the collapse of social structures, family separation, and disruption of support networks."
While many women's organizations in Gaza struggle to continue operations, CARE International is working with community leaders and influencers to organize support networks and provide psychosocial support.
A Remembrance of Normal Life
Sanam Anderlini, the founder and CEO of the International Civil Society Action Network, which focuses on women, peace, and security, believes, "Such activities are a reminder of normal life and are critical in helping to maintain and protect the human spirit. I think Palestinians have instinctively understood and learned that maintaining normal life is, in itself, a form of resistance."
For serious mental health issues, CARE tries to leverage the existing healthcare infrastructure to refer people to psychiatrists and provide treatment. However, Gaza's only psychiatric hospital ceased operations in November after being damaged in an Israeli attack.
Anderlini and Talgieh emphasize that helping widows and female heads of households find work and earn money to support their families is key to protecting women and children from resorting to high-risk work as their only option. For instance, the Palestinian Center for Conflict Resolution plans to aid women in joining the workforce and developing their money-earning projects, in addition to providing initial funding for small businesses.
They Will Find Their Way with Community’s Help
Talgieh stated, "They'll start small, selling things from home, but they will find their way with the community's help. These women need to find ways to survive, and they will do so."
One such woman, Widad Abu Jama, mother of six, lost her 45-year-old husband when Israeli soldiers shot him dead while he was at his farm checking on his livestock and looking for food for his family.
Sitting in a crowded UN schoolroom now used as a shelter, Abu Jama said with a sense of lifelessness, "I feel I lost my life, not just my husband." Her children wrapped around her, crying from hunger and cold.
She added, "I married and lived with my husband for a very long time. We worked together on our farmland. We spent long hours caring for the crops. We built our life together. Now I'll go to the land without him. I'll be alone among the crops."
